A British man self-styled as “Hotcock” was convicted of indecent exposure and banned from the weekend nightlife for two months after attempting to have sex first with a plate of kebab and then a 4x4 Land Rover Discovery during an apparent alcoholic blackout.

A Wales court found Daniel “Hotcock” Cooper, a 24-year-old father of three, guilty as charged after viewing surveillance video of the attempted copulation with the sport utility vehicle, in addition to hearing witness accounts of the man grinding on the floor of a kebab restaurant. According to witnesses, Cooper ran around the counter of the kebab shop, mortifying staff members, and was then seen walking down the sidewalk with his pants around his ankles on the night of Aug. 23.

Cooper’s attorney, Gary Harvey, told reporters the man professes to be “mortified and ashamed” as a “responsible family man.” Cooper told police after his arrest that he “wasn’t used to drinking.”

“He is a responsible family man who looks after the children while his wife went out to work,” Harvey said of his client.

The Mirror and The Telegraph, both British newspapers, quoted an unidentified friend of Cooper’s, who said the incident may be forgiven but would certainly not be forgotten. “Daniel will never live this down,” the friend said, according to The Huffington Post. “He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn’t offended.”

Aside from a $134 fine, Cooper has been banned from leaving his home for two months between the hours of 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday — leaving him effectively under house arrest during prime nightlife hours.

Below is a video news report on the incident.