A 23-year-old woman suffering from lupus is pleading to be able to end her life, reported BBC.

Kirsty Keep, of Kent, was hospitalized after an insect bite when she was 12, having developed the autoimmune disease lupus. Over 10 years later, Keep is now not strong enough to move on some days, and suffers through attacks that make it feel as if her bones are being broken.

Keep said she either wants to “end it” or find a way to live again.

“I want to live again,” she told BBC. “I want to be a young lady. I want to have a job. I want to travel and help other people like this.”

Lupus affects many parts of the body, including internal organs, skin, and joints. Keep’s mother, Theresa, also believes her daughter is suffering from Lyme disease, which can also be responsible for joint pains and other issues. The family will fundraise for Kirsty to undergo private testing for Lyme disease in Germany if her condition does not improve, because Theresa believes the tests in England are not thorough or sensitive enough.

Kirsty has undergone chemotherapy, but said it just made her worse.

“I wanted to go to Switzerland and just end it. I’m staying here for my family really. That’s all and I don’t want to be here anymore, suffering. So I just want people to help me now.”

Kirsty has a GoFundMe page with the hashtag #alivebutnotliving beginning her explanation of her condition.