Sex fetishes are considered taboo, but not so taboo depending on the time and place we find ourselves. Fantasies, sex toys, BDSM, and S&M are common when people willingly disclose what really turns them on. While everybody’s got their “thing,” 33-year-old Chicago man Jay has an unusual sexual preference that he himself describes as “horrendous” — coulrophilia, or a clown sex fetish.

"The fun thing about clown sex is there's really no rules," said Jay on Logo TV’s sex therapy reality show, Bad Sex, Gawker reported. "Just to smell the paint coming up off her face is enough for me.” Jay confesses in a group therapy session, he would have fun finding girls in bars and convincing them to come home with him. The 33-year-old describes he would just debase them and humiliate them until he let them loose into the world, “hoping that they’re wounded.”

In a one-on-one with Bad Sex’s therapist Chris Donaghue, Jay opens up about his childhood years, or a lack thereof, which Donaghue believes could be the reason for his unusual sexcapades. The clown-obsessed man was rejected as a child and was never invited to a party. His clown sex fetish lifestyle allows him to live life as “one big birthday party,” in an underground S&M world greasepaint, rubber noses, and clown pants.

Jay prides himself in balloon-making and exhibited his talent on his first date with a woman named Liz. "I like to make balloon animals because I'm extremely talented," he said. Despite how forthcoming Jay was about this clown sex fetish, giving Liz a clown outfit on the first date, Liz eagerly obliged to be part of his peculiar sexual fantasies. The couple quickly engaged in painting each other in grease paint, with his girlfriend even asking, “What kind of face do you think suits me?”

While Jay may have finally met his match in the most unconventional way, it’s clear to Donaghue Jay’s lack of acceptance in childhood has had an impact on his sexuality. Sexual paraphilias can often reveal underlying issues, or experiences in childhood that have influenced an individual’s lifestyle. According to Psychology Today, someone who actually acts out in real life certain fantasies considered strange to most people are viewed as having a perversion that they obsessively engage in. 

Dr. Mark D. Griffiths, a chartered psychologist and director of the International Gaming Research Unit in the Psychology Division at Nottingham Trent University, has discussed on his blog how clown sex fetishes are not referenced in any academic article or book, but they do exist. In an online forum where people discuss their clown fetishes, Griffiths believes a specific case discussed in the forum could be due to a visual attraction to women in clown’s clothing rather than wearing it oneself. He admits there is no way of knowing how truthful these accounts are, but based on Jay’s case, doctors may want to take a deeper look into sex fetishes.