When dating, men and women alike face the age-old dilemma of how to flirt without seeming like they’re flirting, to vie for the attention of that special someone across the room. Outdated infamous one-liners, flipping your hair, or batting your eyelashes too much could hurt your chances, but flirting done well can be more effective than looks. To increase your physical attractiveness, you don’t need to win the genetic lottery, simply following these six flirting techniques will help turn your seductive ways up a notch to find true love, or not go home alone at the end of the night.
1. Attain Facial Symmetry
Gaining the attention of that special someone from across the room could be achieved by first looking the part. Symmetry is regarded as an extremely attractive quality in the opposite sex as people tend to favor faces with more symmetrical features. A study in the journal Annals of Plastic Surgery found both men and women label symmetrical faces and bodies as more attractive, and in better health than their counterparts. Someone with good symmetry is shown to have the genetic goods to survive development, is healthy, and could be a good and fertile choice for mating. However don’t go under the knife; simply using makeup or DIY treatments could give off the appearance of a symmetrical face.
2. Maintain Good Posture
To make yourself stand out in a crowded room, it’s important to exhibit a positive and confident body posture. Even if you don’t have a symmetrical face, women find an improved body posture outweighs good looks, and an outspoken attitude, according to a Colorado College study. Standing up a little straighter is key when you’re about to talk to that special person because it exudes more confidence and shows you’re conscious of your bodily movements. While men and women are good at controlling their facial expressions, they are generally less conscious of what the rest of their body is doing. When flirting, try to send the right signals with your posture to prevent any unwanted non-verbal leakage — real feelings “leak out” in our posture.
3. Keep an Arm’s Length Distance
The distance kept from the other person when flirting is important because this will affect their impression of you and your overall interaction. Typically, when people approach each other, they remain at a very distinct distance, called “social distance,” which is generally measured by arm’s length. It’s best for men, and women not to stand any closer than arm’s length because a natural inclination may be to move away. As a rule of thumb, it’s best to pay attention to the other person’s use of distance to decipher their reactions and feelings toward you. A study in The Journal of Neuroscience found when men are in committed relationships, they tend to keep a “safe” social distance between themselves and an attractive woman during a first encounter because of the “love hormone,” oxytocin. So ladies, once you have reeled him in with the love bait, he will keep a safe distance from other attractive women.
4. Be Honest
Honesty is the best policy, and this applies to flirting, too. Men and women, it’s time to throw away the clever one-liners and opt for the direct gambit lines — ones that are honest and get right to the point, according to a study published in the journal Sex Roles. Women were found to prefer innocuous lines such as “What do you think of this band?,” while men preferred direct opening gambits. If you’re headed to happy hour after work, remember, innocuous pick-up lines are more effective for those who are mentally exhausted after a long day’s work.
5. Make Direct Eye Contact
Direct eye contact is one of the most important techniques in flirting. Exchanging a mutual broken gaze for two minutes with a stranger of the opposite sex is found to increase feelings of passionate love for each other, according to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality. Eye contact is known to be a universal method employed by both men and women to convey romantic interest. If someone you like looks away or stops making eye contact with you, chances are they are not interested in you. Also, avoid constantly staring at a person for a prolonged period of time as this can be considered borderline creepy and will most likely lead to naming calling and social isolation.
6. Provide a Gentle Touch
This flirting style is more physical than the other flirting strategies and should be done subtly, without leading to unnecessary groping. A study in the journal Social Influence found a simple shoulder push, shoulder tap, handshake is regarded as friendly and non-threatening, whereas a touch around the shoulder or waist, or forearm can be viewed as a more direct approach, and a face touch is considered to be “nuclear.” The most effective type of touch to flirt with someone is one that is gentle and informal, that occurs face-to-face and involves “hugging” behavior.
These six flirting tips will not only help increase your attractiveness but also help you appear more confident in front of others.