After her doctors told her she had six months to live in April — and that those months would involve severe pain and suffering — terminal brain cancer patient Brittany Maynard decided there had to be a better option.

Maynard, 29, has become the center of a movement for “Death with Dignity,” or the ability for terminally ill people to be able to choose to end their own lives, on their own terms. Maynard moved to Oregon in order to take advantage of the Death with Dignity Act in the state, which allows doctors to prescribe drugs to terminally ill patients that would kill them peacefully. Maynard planned on taking a pill on Nov. 1 to end her own life, surrounded by her family, husband, and friends.

But in a recent video, Maynard expressed she’s not quite ready to go: “I still feel good enough, and I still have enough joy, and I still laugh and smile with my family and friends enough that it doesn’t seem like the right time right now, but it will come because I feel myself getting sicker,” she said in the video. “It’s happening each week.”

Maynard has been accomplishing her “bucket list” of activities for the last few months, from seeing the Grand Canyon with her family to simply enjoying the little things in life. The 29-year-old newlywed was diagnosed with stage IV glioblastoma multiforme in January, and has spent the last few months packing in travelling, hikes, and meaningful time with loved ones. On her website, Maynard wrote: “This week, my family and I traveled to the Grand Canyon, thanks to the kindness of Americans around the country who came forward to make my ‘bucket list’ dream come true. The Canyon was breathtakingly beautiful, and I was able to enjoy my time with the two things I love most: my family and nature.”

However, Maynard suffered one of the worst seizures yet just a day after, noting that it was a “harsh reminder that my symptoms continue to worsen as the tumor runs its course.” She hopes that even if she doesn’t take the drug on Nov. 1, that she will have the choice to do so when she is ready.

“The worst thing that could happen to me is that I wait too long because I’m trying to seize each day, but that I somehow have my autonomy taken away from me by my disease, because of the nature of my cancer,” Maynard said in the video.