Liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgery, tummy tuck, and nose surgery — these are a few of America’s favorite cosmetic procedures. The results of the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery’s 17th annual survey found as much, as well as a 12 percent increase in overall surgical and non-surgical cosmetic procedures since 2008.

Society’s insane ideal for women and men to look forever in their 20s — mostly women — is largely why people go for a little nip and tuck. A separate survey found one in 20 of 2,000 respondents received plastic surgery or injections in an effort to look younger, while 42 percent of women (only 18 percent of men) would consider it. Women admitted they’re afraid looking their age could prevent work success.

The saddest part is that youth really is this intensely valued. So much so that it’s giving way to a whole new, frankly weird era of plastic surgery. Get familiar with a few of them below.

Internal Bra

Teach your constantly falling down bra straps a lesson by getting rid of them all together. For perkier breasts, British doctors have taken to adding hardened silicone cups underneath a woman’s breast tissue. Then, the cups are lifted with silk straps and screwed into the rib cage. For real.

Moustache Implants

Donning a full moustache in the Middle East says dignified, mature, and wise. It says masculine. So naturally, Middle Eastern men struggling with wispy facial hair schedule to have one surgically added for a cool $7,000. Surgeons will remove hair from parts of the body not struggling with volume, and implant it on a man’s upper lip.

Selahattin Tulunay, a Turkish plastic surgeon, told CNN that he performs up to 60 transplants a month on patients who travel to Turkey from the Middle East. If men can avoid shaving in the 15 days following the procedure, they could see full results in as few as six months.

Toe Shaving

The effects of obesity have apparently trickled down to one’s toes. There are people who are ashamed about the size of their toes, and they elect to have them shaved down to a skinnier size. And because it’s an elective surgery, insurance doesn’t cover any of the cost. The price range for a procedure like this ranges from hundreds to thousands of dollars.

This is not unlike the Cinderalla Surgery. The New York Times reported you can get your toes shortened or lengthened, your bunions removed, and fat injected into the bottoms of your feet for permanent comfort.

Liposculpture

Meet liposuction for your legs. The flood of emails about new boots available for the cool-weather seasons has gotten to women who believe they have excess “calf fat” that they’re having it surgically removed. It’s otherwise known as “boot bulge” and it’s so women with larger calves can try any and every boot they want.

Once the calf fat is removed, surgeons can sculpt the lower leg to a woman’s desired size. Well, assuming they’re not an avid bike rider or runners. These women tend to have a lot of muscle in their calf, and at least a little fat is required for the procedure.

Ball Ironing

Guys, get ready to cringe: George Clooney told Esquire in 2008 that he got his balls ironed in order for them to look less wrinkled — and you can, too. The non-surgical procedure is actually referred to as “tightening the tackle,” and it’s a one-stop shop to remove hair, eliminate wrinkles, and improve the scrotum’s overall appearance.

Just don’t for one minute think this rivals a female’s routine Brazilian.

Ear Repair

Flesh tunnels are the holes that result from gauged ear piercings. Think about the holed earrings you would notice in Hot Topic’s display case. An ear that’s been stretched 1.5 cm can stretch back without surgery, while anything larger than that requires repair.

Enter: earlobe surgery. It’s on the rise in the UK for patients who no longer want to sport their “baggy lobes.” It’s a 30-minute procedure that stitches lobes back together internally.

Selfie Surgery

It physically pains us to report that the rise in facial surgeries, such as a nose job, is a direct result of selfies. This is especially worrisome when you consider the number of apps that can filter and perfect a photo sans a knife.

Going back to the AAFPRS survey, one in three facial plastic surgeons said they saw an increase in requests for procedures due to patients being more self-aware of their looks on social media sites, such as Instagram and Snapchat. Thirteen percent of patients actually cited photo sharing as a reason for their consultation.

Nitrogen Gas Weight Loss

Weight loss surgeries are nothing new. We bet, however, you didn’t know there’s a diet procedure out there that involves swallowing a pill filled with nitrogen gas that a doctor uses a catheter to inflate like a balloon in your stomach — because there totally is.

The Obalan Balloon, which has yet to be approved in the United States, sits at the top of a person’s stomach for 12-weeks in an effort to train the brain to better understand healthier eating habits. A patient could lose up to 20 pounds — which the pill will then have to be endoscopically removed.