7 Tips To Gain Control Over Negative Thoughts, And Give Your Brain A Tune-Up

This question originally appeared on Quora. Answer by Nela Canovic.

First, we are not our thoughts!

Second, our thoughts do not control us.

And third, YES, we do have the ability not only to control our thoughts but also to optimize the way we use our incredible supercomputer - our brain!

You can do a system upgrade of your supercomputer with a bit of maintenance.

Try these 7 tips to get started:

ONE. Work hard to let go of anger and resentment.

Disappointment and feeling wronged or treated unjustly in some way is a normal part of life. This feeling is, at some point, inevitable. You cannot always control every event or situation, but you can control how you react to it.

How?

Take a step back and re-evaluate the situation that is causing you stress: is staying angry really worth your time, your energy, and your health? In many cases it's better to let go, learn from the event, and move forward. Explore different options where you can focus your energy, such as dedicating time to doing something you are good at, or to working on developing a skill that will be useful to you in your personal development or career.

TWO. Change your attitude towards mistakes.

Being self-critical can be a big factor in having negative thoughts. So you’ve made your share of mistakes, or perhaps you made a really big single mistake. It is something we all do, and we do it often. It’s an integral part of becoming an adult. Take a different approach to your mistakes so that you can grow instead of staying in the same rut.

How?

Try a different strategy of viewing your past by forgiving yourself for mistakes that you made. Reflect on them, learn from them, but don't dwell or hold on to them. Give yourself the time to think what you did, which results you got, and what you could have done differently. This applies to all areas of your life in which you feel you didn’t achieve what you wanted or maybe underperformed in some way: your relationships and personal life, your professional career, or your education. When you change how you relate to mistakes, you will give yourself more freedom to manage your future more successfully.

THREE. Declutter your mind with meditation.

It’s important to keep in mind that we are not our thoughts, and that there is a way to see our thoughts from a distance to be able to evaluate them better. You can do this by practicing meditation. It does not take a lot of time, it's simple to follow, and it can be beneficial: it can improve your focus, declutter your mind, give you a greater sense of calm, and help you to feel more relaxed and positive about your life.

How?

Start by downloading an app called Headspace. It is a guided meditation that starts with 10, and advances to 15 and 20 minute sessions. It’s easy and fun, and a great option for absolute beginners.

FOUR. Practice gratitude every day.

Gratitude rewires our brain to think about positive things, the things that we have going for us, instead of the things we do not have (or have not yet accomplished) and that can leave us feeling worried, anxious, frustrated, and even unhappy.

How?

Create a gratitude journal and write in it for 5 minutes each morning; list 3 things you are grateful for. It can be the simplest of things, such as having a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, a family that loves you, food in your fridge, a dog or cat that you have as your pet, having an education that allows you to read and write, etc.

FIVE. Grow your mindset.

Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.” In other words, if you believe you can think more positively, you can make it happen. Conversely, if you don't believe in the power of positive thinking, you can easily get stuck in a rut of negativity where you can’t see a way out.

How?

Start nurturing a growth mindset: believe that you can develop your qualities and skills through deliberate and continuous efforts, and that you can change and grow with your life experiences. If there's something about your mindset you don't like, you can change it for the better. Read Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

SIX. When you think something is too hard to do (“I can’t do this, it’s impossible!”), try a different approach by asking yourself, “Why not?”

Maybe you’re procrastinating, or “awfulizing” or just postponing a task or problem you think is insurmountable. You end up doing nothing about it. But there are different ways to approach the problem.

How?

Think carefully if there is something else hiding behind your procrastination. Maybe it is fear of not being able to do something successfully. Next time you feel like procrastinating, rather than immediately saying “I can’t” ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Find out what it is so you can do something about it. The benefit? Whenever you say “why not?” you win over fear. There is something really powerful when we leave a little space open for possibilities, instead of shutting the door in our own face. It’s a subtle change in attitude towards ourselves than can have a tremendous impact in our lives.

SEVEN. Give your mind a break by challenging your body.

Doing physical exercise, even if it is targeted and short, can do wonders for your brain. It can improve your brain's cognitive performance, problem solving ability, and even boost long-term memory. But even better than that: a physical challenge can calm the chaos of your thoughts and turn your mind to simple things.

How?

Find the time in the morning for a mini-workout of 15-30 minutes . Whether it’s a morning yoga routine or a 20-minute run through the neighborhood, the goal is to stay consistent. Making your workout short will increase your likelihood of sticking to the habit so you can feel the benefits in the long run.