Healthy Living

Sex Life Improvements: 78% Of Men Would Seek The Help Of A Sex Therapist, Dating App Poll Says

sex therapy
Meetville.com finds 62 percent of its member respondents answered “yes” when asked if it's acceptable to see a sex therapist. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.

Meetville.com is a dating app you may or may not have heard of — there are now a whopping 3,851 businesses within the online dating sector, according to IBISWorld — and it routinely conducts unscientific polls of its members. In one of its latest polls, the dating app found that 62 percent of its member respondents answered “yes,” while 38 percent answered “no” when asked if they found sex therapy acceptable. What may come as a surprise is that more men than women answered affirmatively, with 78 percent of men responding with an unqualified “yes.”

According to the company website, Meetville.com has conducted a large number of surveys with “millions of people from the U.S., Canada, Britain, and Australia” answering hundreds of questions every month. Between March 27 and Sept. 9 of this year, Meetville.com polled its members, asking if they considered it acceptable to see a sex therapist. Respondents were given the choice of responding either “yes” or “no” with no grayscale alternatives.

What did Meetville.com find? Of the 109,794 members who responded, 62 percent answered “yes,” while 38 percent answered “no.” Slightly more than half of all respondents, 53 percent, hailed from the United States, with four percent from Canada, 12 percent from the United Kingdom, seven percent from Australia, and 24 percent from other countries. The gender breakdown reveals the most surprising truth: More men than women were in favor of sex therapy, with 78 percent of all male Meetville.com member/respondents answering in the affirmative.

Color me crazy, but I would have expected the opposite to be true with more women than men believing it is acceptable to seek help with their sex lives through therapy. Perhaps it is the wording of the choice (“acceptable?”) presented. Isn’t the more accurate (or at least more real) question: “Would you ever go to a therapist for help with your sex life?” Or does the gender divide, which Meetville.com has uncovered, speak to how dissatisfied men are with their sex lives compared to women and their greater willingness to do something, anything, to change that?

The answer as to why men favor sex therapy might be found in the work of Dr. Meredith Chivers, a sex psychology professor at Queen’s University in Ontario. “Genital and subjective sexual arousal is much larger in men than in women,” she and her co-authors wrote in one study. In other words, what actually arouses men is what they find sexy, whereas for women, this may not be the case.

Confusing? You bet. Among the experiments Chivers has conducted, women participants have been asked to view a series of pornographic and non-pornographic videos in a private room while an inserted vaginal probe (yuck) measures their response. Meanwhile, the female participants are diligently writing down their thoughts and feelings in a journal. “Women are apparently disassociated from their bodies and have greater difficulty than men in connecting their own erotic responses to what they are actually feeling or desiring,” Chivers told The New York Times.

Whether you believe any strictly designed scientific study can uncover the truth about sexuality, there most certainly are exceptions to Chivers' general observation about women. However, if this is indeed the experience of most (or even just some) women, would these “disassociated from their bodies” women feel as great a need as a man to seek the help of a sex therapist? Probably not.

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