Sex Sent Me To The ER: Man Accidentally Uses Superglue Instead Of Sex Lube, Leaving Hand Stuck To Penis
Doctors have seen their fair share of sticky situations, especially when it comes to sex-related injuries. Similar to famous storyline in American Pie, when Jim uttered the line “I kind of super-glued myself to…uh…myself,” one man mistook superglue for sex lube, and affixed his hand to his penis all while having sex with his wife. The unidentified man, in a sleepy slumber, rushed to the ER with his anxious wife, where Dr. Matthew Valente, saw his patient was in excruciating pain.
"The night before, [the patient] was fixing his lamp next to his bed and he left the superglue tube on the nightstand," said Valente, on TLC’s Sex Sent Me to the E.R. episode. The glue tube was next to a tube of lubricant on the nightstand when the man and his wife were in the mood for a late-night rustle and tussle in between the sheets. It was in the middle of the night the couple decided to have sex as the half-asleep man unconsciously reached out for what he thought would be lubricant.
Taken aback by the situation, Valente admitted, “this is actually the first time [he’s] had a hand glued to a penis before,” in the ER. Desperate to help his patient, Valente began to look up options for removing superglue — nail polish remover with acetone being the most painful, to waiting for the outer layer of skin to fall as the least painful. The man’s wife, in full panic mode, was “more concerned about making the dinner than [her husband’s] level of comfort,” Valente said.
The difficulty in removing the superglue adhesive derives from the fact the entire penis is sensitive, with the glands and the corona being especially sensitive. Superglues, which are cyanoacrylate-based, can kill off cells and can cause further complications, especially for those allergic to it. However, it tends to dissolve over time with frequent movement on live skin, which can come off by itself in a couple of weeks. It is not recommended ever to be used on body parts like the lips or the genitals.
Chances are the man will double check his nightstand tubes to make sure he doesn’t superglue himself to himself again.