Sex makes up an important part of one’s life. There are many ways to spice up your sex life that are backed by science. A sex therapist breaks down five things that can make all the difference in the bedroom.

“Sex can be wonderful, but it can also be tricky. Science may be the furthest thing from your mind when you’re getting intimate with someone. But actually, there’s a lot we can learn from science when it comes to sex,” Chantal Gautier, Lecturer and Sex and Relationship Therapist, University of Westminster, said, IFLScience reported.

Here are five things that can make things better between the sheets.

Arousal and desire

Arousal is critical for sexual activity and is affected by a range of stimuli, including physical touch, visual cues, and psychological factors. Desire (or libido) refers to the feeling to engage in sexual activity.

Research suggests arousal and desire are interconnected, yet they work in different ways. For instance, physical signs of arousal such as morning erections don’t necessarily translate to feeling “horny.” In the case of a woman, the desire to have sex can come up either before or after arousal.


Communication can also improve sexual experiences. Research shows that couples communicating openly and regularly about their sexual preferences are likely to experience greater sexual satisfaction.

“To improve communication, try having honest and open conversations with your partner (or partners) about your sexuality. Because sex can be many things for many people, don’t be embarrassed to discuss your turn-ons and any concerns or dislikes you might have,” Gautier advised.


Variety is the spice of sex life as well. According to the sex therapist, research places importance on stimulation and techniques to enhance one’s sex life. These include different sexual positions, manual stimulation, masturbation practices, and oral stimulation.

”When exploring any of these activities, it’s important to obtain mutual consent and respect each other’s boundaries,” Gautier noted.


Mindfulness is a state of awareness of each moment and has been shown to positively affect sexual experiences.

“By increasing awareness and attention to sensations in the body, mindfulness can enhance sexual arousal and desire,” the expert noted.

Moreover, slow, deep breaths and focusing on the sensation of breathing can put the mind at ease and heighten sexual desire. Therefore, mindfulness and breathing exercises can alleviate anxiety around sex.


Growing up, cultural norms and religious beliefs can affect attitudes toward sexual behavior and pleasure.

“Regardless of our ideas about sex, it’s also important to feel comfortable in our own bodies. If you can embrace your body and love it the way it is, this will help when you have sex. Try not to overthink during sexual experiences and allow your body to do what comes naturally,” the expert explained.