Vitality

Two's Company, Three's A Crowd: A Cheat Sheet For Everything You Need To Know About Infidelity

The Science of Cheating infographic
Here's your ultimate cheat sheet to everything you need to know about infidelity, from the profile of a cheater to the time and day of his/her promiscuous deed. The Huffington Post

Infidelity has become as common as finding a Starbucks at every corner in New York City. Everyone knows someone who has been cheated on — or maybe you've been cheated on yourself. Since “half of all marriages end in divorce” and “half of people in a relationship admit to cheating,” you might say society has become immune to infidelity. Given the secretive nature of infidelity, The Huffington Post’s “The Who, What, Where, When, and Why of Cheating,” infographic can help answer your questions about everything, from who is more likely to cheat to the time and day people engage in unethical behavior.

It’s no surprise narcissists, people who are insecure about their spouse, and people who fake orgasms are more likely to cheat, but joining the notable attendees in the cheaters club are women with husbands who have large penises. It has long been believed women favor a man who is well-endowed over a man with a less-than-great package, but this can actually hurt a man when it comes to infidelity. A study published in the journal PLOS ONE found men who denied their wife a preferred sex position, an uncomfortably and painfully long penis, younger women, and domestic violence were among the top reasons why wives had affairs.

There seems to be a discrepancy between the sexes regarding what constitutes as cheating. A study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology found women think emotional cheating is worse, while men think sexual cheating is the greater of the two evils. More women (90 percent) believe passionately kissing someone else is cheating, compared to only 75 percent of men. However, sending flirt text messages are seen as cheating by 68 percent of women and 51 percent of men. Both sexes agree sending flirty text messages is less cause for concern, while engaging in promiscuous behavior is grounds for infidelity.

The profile of a cheater and what is considered cheating by both sexes provides insight on where and when the cheating takes place. VictoriaMilan, a discreet site for married and attached people seeking confidential affairs, found Chicago cheaters spend 25 more time online looking for a lover than the rest of American cheaters, with Los Angeles, New York, Houston, and Dallas rounding up the top five. Of those who have online affairs, 68 percent conduct their activities at work, spending an average of 1.17 hours per day doing so.

All this unethical behavior also takes place on Wednesday, particularly in the afternoon. A study published in the journal Psychological Science found adults engaged in less unethical behavior, such as less lying and cheating on tasks performed in the morning, than on the same tasks performed in the afternoon. This was mediated by decreases in moral awareness and self-control in the afternoon.

This all trickles down to the most important question: “Why do people cheat?” Women cheat because they are attracted to the person and need to reaffirm their desirability, while men cheat because they want more sex than they are getting and they want more variety of it. This is related to the degree of satisfaction with one’s relationship for both sexes.

So whether you know someone who has been cheated on or know someone who has cheated, how do you help them to get over it? Cheaters can come clean, while their partners can choose to forgive them and both work together to set date nights. Cheaters are more likely to be forgiven if their partner has been a cheater in the past. Couples can attempt to bridge the gaps that have developed in their relationships due to infidelity by seeking counseling together to address the insecurities and fears in a relationship.

The argument to “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” isn’t always as clear-cut as it seems. 

 

The Who, What, Where, When, And Why of Cheatingby HuffingtonPost.

 

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