Most people can look back to a time — most likely in high school — when everyone around them was having sex for the first time. It was a time of great social pressure; some people believe having sex will make them popular, while others might feel like if they do, they’ll be shunned by their family or house of worship.

Sexuality is complex. And it doesn’t only involve “when will it happen to me” or how. For some people, sexuality is more about “who am I attracted to,” or “what kinds of things do I like?” Addressing all these issues, and with tact and understanding is hard to do, as Al Vernacchio, a sex educator in Pennsylvania, says in the TED Talk below. He calls the way in which we speak about these different aspects of sexuality a sexual footprint. In the same way that a carbon footprint is our impact on the environment, a sexual footprint is the “path that is created by the decisions we make and the actions we take regarding our sexual selves.”

Although he normally speaks to his students, high school seniors, about these issues, it’s clear in the TED Talk that anyone can use his sexual knowledge to fill in the gaps about their own. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 46.8 percent of kids reported having sex, with 34 percent saying they’d had it within the last three months. For these kids, knowing how to approach the subject with maturity can be an issue. Those who take Vernacchio’s class seem to be good.