Will 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Spur More People To Try BDSM? If So, It Needs To Be Taken With A Grain Of Salt
Three years after its steamy debut (it hit the masses like a train; everyone had a copy), erotic romance novel Fifty Shades of Grey is ready to appear on the big screen. The series, which includes Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, introduced many women — and those men who read it, for that matter — to the world of BDSM, filled with bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism. Since its inception, the media has covered, and wondered, just how much the books would influence a new age of sexual fantasy and play. It seems like we have that answer.
Porn companies Vivid Entertainment and XCritic surveyed a group of people with a liking to BDSM about how much the books influenced them and those they associate with. Their results showed that only 20 percent of respondents had become interested in BDSM, while 36 percent had already tried it, Uproxx reported. Meanwhile, 44 percent expressed no interest whatsoever. When it came to the participants who had tried it already, 46 percent said they’d tried bondage, 39 percent said they’d tried master/slave roleplaying, and 21 percent said they had done flogging (beating with a whip or cane).
The survey also found that 40 percent of respondents who expressed curiosity in BDSM would want to be dominant, while 23 percent wanted to be submissive, and 37 percent wanted to try both roles. Nevertheless, it seems these sentiments were withheld from their partners, as about 48 percent said they hadn’t suggested BDSM to their partner, while only 21 percent said they were curious or enthusiastic about it. Ten percent said they “hate the idea.”
Three-quarters of respondents said the books would make coeds interested in trying BDSM, and if past trends are any indication of how the response to the movie will be, chances are they might. In 2012, sex educator Robert Dunlap told ABC News that he got three to four calls a day from couples who were interested in BDSM. “It’s such an explosion. It’s happening now because of the book,” he told ABC. “It’s absolutely been astounding how many students we get inquiries from on a daily basis.”
However, people within the BDSM community and sex educators alike have criticized the book for portraying BDSM inaccurately, and readers (or moviegoers) should take note of such inaccuracies before trying it themselves. Dunlap said that the books perpetuate “the ongoing idea that people who do this are broken in some way, and this is not true.” Instead, many of them are bound with strict rules in mind with a focus on safety.
“When two people want to get involved, their negotiation is up front,” Dunlap said. “They are going to have a safe word: ‘When I say, it ends. Period.’ Most use a stop sign. Green means ‘go.’ Yellow means ‘caution’ and red ends it. Play is also negotiated. For example, if you are doing flogging or whipping, ‘Tell me during the processes if you want to be hurt. Is it too hard? Is it too soft?’”
Other experts note that the way Christian Grey seduces Anastasia Steele, through stalking, intimidation, and humiliation, glamorizes violence against women. In response to these advances, Steele “begins to manage her behavior to keep peace in the relationship, which is something we see in abused women,” Amy Bonomi, chair of the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at Michigan State University and author of a study on the book’s themes of domestic violence, told U.S. News. “Over time, she loses her identity” and “becomes disempowered and entrapped.”
So, instead of taking the book or film’s portrayal of BDSM at face value, prospective viewers should consult with someone who has practiced it (a dominatrix, maybe) or a sex educator.