Marriage is an institution that exists in just about every culture. Although the dress and the ceremony may differ, overall the deal is the same; the bride and the groom exchange a promise to honor and love each other until death, or divorce papers do them apart. A life of marriage is meant to be a life of fidelity, friendship, and mutual respect. For American women though, it may mean a lifetime of celibacy, and as one dating site revealed, a sexless marriage led over 20 percent of surveyed women to cheat.

People aren’t lying when they say that there is a dating website for absolutely everyone. Ashley Madison — the dating website that conducted the survey to understand what exactly drove women to cheat — is for married people looking to cheat on their spouses. They surveyed their 74,600 members from 26 different countries, but when asked how often these unhappily married ladies had sex with their spouse, the numbers were shockingly low. American women topped the list with 22 percent admitting to not having sex with their husbands at all. Nations close behind for highest percentage of women women in sexless marriages were the UK with 18 percent, Hong Kong with 16 percent, Spain with 12 percent, France with 9 percent, and Italy and Brazil both tied with 8 percent.

The media is often quick to label men as the cheaters in a relationship, but a 2010 survey by the National Opinion Research Center found that women are 40 percent more likely to cheat today than they were 20 years ago. Researchers believe this may be because more women are in the workforce and because more women have jobs that require them to travel. In the book, The Truth About Cheating, author M.Gary Neuman found that 92 percent of men’s cheating was driven by emotional factors such as feeling disconnected or underappreciated by their spouses.

“Married people in the U.S. ace the same dilemmas as their international counterparts when it comes to keeping their marital bed active. But our unprecedented global study showed nearly 1 in 5 unhappily married women in the U.S. are in a sexless marriage, and I’m fairly sure that was not what they committed to on their wedding day,” a representative from Ashley Madison told The Huffington Post. Before we have the war of the sexes on who’s to blame for driving the other to cheat, we should remember that for every in there is an out, and if you are persuaded to check out a website like Ashley Madison, then maybe the married life isn’t for you.