We all have deep, dark fantasies, whether it’s hooking up with that hot neighbor, showing up your annoying coworker, or envisioning the death of your archnemesis. Having such fantasies can feel shameful and shocking, creating worry that you have a secret dark side. However the narrator in this video from The School of Life says that these are completely normal.

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He likens it to childhood fantasies, which adults are never worried about. It is possible after all, to have a thought and not act on it. The narrator explains that we should have that same mindset about our own thoughts. A fantasy isn’t a plan, he says.

Instead, he asserts that a fantasy is an acknowledgement that something won’t work but needs to be aired. It’s our way of accepting the way things are. We fantasize instead of preparing, he says, and this is what makes us different from dangerous people who actually put those fantasies into action. He argues that having such fantasies actually shows our appreciation for reality, which we briefly suspend.

So, is there a point in worrying about these shocking thoughts? No, but a fantasy does attempt to answer something about ourselves, although the message isn’t always clear. It’s our way of dealing with money problems or other issues since this fantasy is a place free of worry, the video explains.

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The reason fantasies seem so alarming is because we don’t know what other people are thinking. However, the narrator says that you can be sure others are having the same secret, shameful ones you are too.

Still think your thoughts are weird? It’s just a sign you don’t know others well enough. For more, watch the video to gain insight on your deep, dark fantasies.

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